What is it about relationships that we all seem to struggle with?
Why don’t relationships go well when they mean so much to us?
Isn’t it simply a matter of using better communication skills?
One of life’s truths is that what we focus on for us becomes more real. If I focus on what is wrong with my partner then that is what I see, more of my partner’s problems. If I focus a lot on my ‘problems’ then this too is what I see.
A Relationship is a living entity. It is constantly changing and challenging us to improve and grow. Problems come about when we expect it to stay the same. If everything in life changes then how can our relationship stay the same? The answer is it doesn’t.
To respond to this change we need to learn to re-focus on ourselves and each other. Being in a relationship is about working together to get more out of our lives, to develop a deeper sense of connectedness and purpose. Given the challenges we all face today is it any wonder that we don’t always say what we mean to say, or hear what was meant to be heard?
An effective Relationship Counsellor is able to see what isn’t working in a relationship and bring this to the attention of the couple. He or She is also an interpreter who can re frame what is being said into what the speaker means to say. Relationship Counselling is about creating a feeling of safety for both parties to say what is in their hearts so that each partner is able to listen and support the other. Relationship Counselling is about showing couples simple exercises that they can learn and practice that can transform their relationship to one that is more positive and more loving.